I wimped out today. I had a call for a subbing job at Redford High School and a I didn't take it. Which is really quite ridiculous of me because this was the week that I was going to BEGIN subbing! I just got scared. I suddenly realized that I would be the sub in a classroom full of high schoolers. Not a teacher. A sub. Do you remember what you did to your subs back in the day? Yes, for some of you that was yeeeeeaaaaaarrrrs ago, but try and remember, because I had flashbacks while the automated caller patiently waited for me to respond to him and accept or reject the job. Switching seats and spending the day pretending to be my friend. Boys pushing the sub as far as they can. Have you ever seen a teacher run crying from the room? Or cry while standing in front of you? Me neither, but I've heard the horror stories! So I wimped out. I rejected the job and went back to sleep. Not a very fitful sleep, I felt incredibly guilty!
I went on to the website for subbing 2 hours later and found another job. At another high school. This time it was in Ypsilanti. I called my friend Jen and told her what I was worried about. I also told her that I was going to say what I wasn't supposed to say, but that I didn't want to work in Ypsilanti or Redford, I wanted Livonia, or Plymouth. She pointed out two things that I really needed to hear this morning...
1. "Claire, what did you quit your full time, full paying, job for?" At first I fumbled and tried to say it was to go back to school, but that wasn't true. She was right. I need the hours in the classroom, and I need the hours to be in middle and high school classrooms since my teaching certificate will be in secondary education. Then she said,
2. "Stop making assumptions about these kids! They might be really great kids, but you're already setting yourself up to fail by doubting yourself and doubting the kids!"
So I decided to shower and get ready, and see what time it was. The Ypsi job was starting at 10:31 and it was already 9:20. I had to get ready and then drive 30-40 minutes. So I got ready, now it was 9:40, I went online to accept the job...but it was already taken.
Thursday!! I'm going to start subbing on Thursday! No excuses, no fear, no wimping out, and no preconceived notions about students!