Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Take me back...

Lately, I've been thinking of the days when I was in middle school. I don't what's brought it on...maybe finishing up my student teaching, maybe making facebook friends with friends from that time...all I know, is that one of the best times of my life, took place from 6-10th grade. I loved those days!!

I miss the simplicity of life. When I was in middle school, all we did was ride our bikes up and down Adams Boulevard, all day long. We went to Fuzzy's for ice cream in fresh, homemade waffle cones. We played in the mazes of alley's behind our houses. We spent lazy days on the swings at our neighborhood park. We had slumber parties and ate my mom's homemade fudge sauce with ice cream...and then snuck into the kitchen late at night to eat the rest with spoons. We called the radio stations late at night and chatted up the DJ's, trying to get on air. We made a secret clubhouse in the attic of my garage and created secret handshakes and passwords. We told secrets. We had first boyfriends. We had first kisses. We had our first taste of cigarettes and beers. We cried and laughed and laughed and laughed. And then we laughed some more.

Now, we worry about car payments and phone bills. We have credit card bills and college loans to pay back. We worry about graduating and then getting a job. What if we can't find a career and we end up living in our parents house forever? We worry about getting married and having kids. Will we be good wives (or husbands!)? Will we be good parents? Will we raise our children to be good people, or will we fail? Will we raise our credit so we can get the things we need and want? Will the stress ever leave?!?!?!?!

I wish I could go back to the days when life was innocent and the only worry I had was if a certain boy in my neighborhood liked me or my best friend. Ahhh...the days of my youth...I hope that before too long I'm able to regain that feeling of...of what? Naivety? Innocence? No, I'm glad that I'm free of those...I guess what I'm looking for, is that stability I had. No questions about the future, no worries, nothing. Just freedom.

One day, I will have that freedom again. And it will be good.