Choose Your Own Adventure

A Day In The Life of Claire...The Biggest Wimp You've Ever Met

Chapter One

After a long day at work, you can't wait to get home. It's 85 degrees outside, and you are dying to get home and have a creamsicle while watching a rerun of WIFE SWAP (hopefully it'll be your favorite: HUSBAND EDITION!). You know your parents won't be home for awhile (that's right, you still live with good 'ole mom and pop) as your dad has meetings and your mom is figure skating, so you know that no one will hassle you about your TV selection.

You flip on the TV and settle on the couch with your creamsicle. You suddenly detect a faint buzzing noise. What could it be? You think it's the TV, but then you remember that this is 2009 and you don't own an antenna TV. You look above, trying to see a plane flying low through the skylights. There is no plane. With horror, you slowly turn your gaze towards the back windows and you see them. Not one. Not two or three...but 8-12 wasps buzzing around in the corner of the window...you fly off the couch and clasp a hand over your mouth to muffle your scream...now what??

Turn to page 21 to see what YOU would do, turn to page 51 to do what Claire would do.

Page 51

You grab the remote and flip the TV off, no need for extra noise. Throwing your creamsicle in the sink, you run across the street and bang on your neighbor's door. Little Emily answers, "Hi." she says with a small red popsicle stain around her lips. Trying your best to seem pulled together, and not at all like there is an army of wasps invading your house, you say, "Is your dad home?" As Al comes to the front door, you hold back the tears and try to keep the panic in your voice to a minimum. "Wasps." you whisper. "So many wasps." He hollers back into the house, "Colleen! I'm going to help Claire with the wasps again!"

Once inside, you show him where they are. "Okay, you got a vacuum cleaner?" he asks.
"Sure, why? Waiiiiit...you're going to vacuum them up?!" you ask.

"Yeah, there's too many for me to kill them all. I don't wanna get stung!" he says. As if vacuuming up the wasps is an everyday thing, as simple as putting toilet paper on the toilet paper holder.

"Ummm...okay...but Al?" You ask the question that burns through your mind, "what if they crawl out of the vacuum after you leave?"

"Claire. You always ask this, and I always tell you the same thing: They won't crawl out and start flying around."

To use the vacuum cleaner, go back to page 18. To do what Claire would do, go back to page 17.

PAGE 17

Well, it's not like you have a choice. Either let Al suck the wasps up, or risk being stung (probably to death. Wasps don't lose their stingers so they'll just keep going until they're satisfied you've learned your lesson). So you get the vacuum cleaner.

Al tells you to turn it on, which means you have to get much closer than you would like, but it also gives you the opportunity to count the little furry winged creatures. Ten total. ugh...ten too many! You press the power button and the noise makes them buzz louder. You run to the kitchen and grab a newspaper and roll it up, ready to swing at the slightest buzz near you. Al sucks up a few, but the loud noise and huge machine infuriate (or maybe just scares) the wasps, and some of them crawl further away, allowing Al the ability to suck them right up. But a few others fly. Al climbs onto the couch to get closer and chases them across the living room, towards the kitchen. You back up, ready to move into the family room if necessary. You see the two wasps...they're coming closer to you, the buzzing almost loud enough to hear above the noise of the vacuum. Hot tears spring to your eyes, but you're too afraid to move, to draw attention to yourself, so you just let them fall. But all of a sudden, like a knight in shining armor, Al jumps for it, and sucks them both up.

You're saved. You thank him profusely while duct taping the mouth of the vacuum shut. You wave to Al as he walks down your driveway, back to his popsicle gang. You open the freezer, get a new creamsicle, and decide to read the latest TIME...in the kitchen this time.

THE END

If Love Were Enough

The thing about break ups, is that they suck. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one leaving or the one being left. You’ve both put time, love, faith,commitment, affirmation, and trust into each other; into your relationship with one another. And then at some point in time one of you feels that they’re giving more than receiving, or something happens to disrupt that love or the trust, or faith…I think it’s actually worse being the person who has to end it. You love them and you want to be with them, but something tugs at your heart and tells you that it’s not right. Sometimes you don’t even know why, all you know is that you are about to break this persons heart, and you don’t want to do that.

But you know that it’s the right thing to do. You know that you will suffocate if you stay. You’ll suffocate from taking care of them, from staying with them for fear of hurting them, from the way they crush your dreams…crush you…So you know you have to leave. And you do. And you cry and sob and your body is wracked with emotional waves that just keep slamming you down and down and down, and you second guess what you’re doing and wonder if maybe they will change, maybe they will do the things you need them to do so you can stay together and get married and have babies and buy a house and a dog and live happily ever after. But in your heart of hearts, you know that they never will. They are who they are.

And you know what the trickiest part is? They’re sneaky. They tell you that they can change. They promise they can change. They cling your hand and swear up and down with little pools of tears in their eyes, cascading down their cheeks, hiccupping because they’ve been crying so hard, and they say, “I can change! I’ll do whatever it takes!” And this is why it’s worse to be the one ending it. Because suddenly, after all of the thinking, the praying, the pro’s & con’s list you made, after all that, you find yourself beginning to believe them. Or maybe you just find yourself so full of pity for this person you love, you hate causing them pain, but there’s no other way to go around it…you have to hurt them to take care of yourself.

And in the end, we’re almost always glad that we made the choice to leave. We’re better people for it, and we’ve taught that person an important lesson that they hopefully picked up on. The lesson being (in some cases): We’re together, you have to be onboard with me the way that I’m onboard with you. You have to show me that you love me in ways other than just telling me. You have to BE THERE FOR ME. And you can’t just suddenly be there for me when I’m leaving, or when it’s convenient for you. You have to be there for me all day, every day, just as I have been – and will continue to be – for you.

Sometimes we see a temporary change, but it's rarely ever permanent. It's a change that lasts just long enough for us to get sucked back in...but we have to remember: If it’s meant to be, it will be. As a very wise friend once told me, “If love were enough, we’d all be with our high school sweethearts.” And guess what? We’re not. We need more than love. We need commitment, faith, trust, and affirmation, without those, the relationship suffers…if only love were enough...

Clobbered, But Not Down For The Count

Well, I've had two sessions with Pam, my personal trainer, and I'll tell you what, she is REALLY kicking my butt!! She has me doing things that are difficult, and hard, but not impossible. I'm able to do everything (even the push-ups!!), which is great. I don't feel like a total wimp. I've also been keeping a food journal that I take to her and she looks through it to see how I'm eating. She'll make suggestions like, "maybe eat more vegetables & fruits." or "maybe don't drink a days worth of calories." Which did happen. Once. Okay twice. But not anymore! She even suggested drinks that will be "better" for me (anything frozen is bad, fruity drinks have lots of sugar. Best to stick with clear liquors & diet pop, or light beer), which is cool because she doesn't drink!

My last session with her was on Monday, and this morning I woke up and swung my arm out of bed to hit my alarm clock, and then cried out in pain...apparently I have zero muscle in my shoulders and arms because they are BURNING!! I could barely straighten my hair this morning! And putting mascara on? Yeesh!! Pam says that the first five or six (oh is that all? lol) sessions will hurt the most, but it will get better after that.

Since I wasn't feeling any pain last night, I decided to power walk. I grabbed my iPod Touch, put it on a pretty sweet mix of some old school music (think Poison, Chicago, Eric Clapton, AC/DC) and started walking. I was planning on walking to downtown Farmington and back, which is about 3 miles. I got a mile into, and my heels started to hurt a bit. I thought it would be okay, that maybe my shoe was on weird, so I adjusted my feet and kept on going, thinking that I only had another half a mile and I could turn around. Plus, I was really trucking along! I didn't want to quit!! But when the sugary sweet smells from Baskin Robbins hit my nose, marking the point to turn around, I began to realize that I was really in some pain. As I scooted past the skateboard shop, the Village Mall, CVS, and Fitness 19, I began to wish I'd brought my phone so I could call my dad for a ride. I figured out that the plastic in the heel of my New Balance (which are super old) was sticking through the fabric and rubbing against my heel...poking my heels was more like. I had to keep going, and I tried not slow down, but by the time I got back to 9 mile, my heels were throbbing in pain. As I stumbled across the road and past the 7-11, my iPod jumped to a song that was most appropriate for the way I felt, almost as if my sneakers were trying to apologize to me: "I didn't mean to hurt you...I didn't mean to make you cry!" Oh sneakers...but you DID make me cry!! And then, as my sneaks realized I was still mad that they were causing me so much pain, my earbuds were flooded with, "Every rose has a thorn!" okay, by now I was crying from laughing so hard. I'm sure that if you drove past me yesterday you thought, who is that lunatic laughing to herself while she hobbles down the sidewalk?

Well, luckily, I made it home, and after a slightly painful shower (at least for my heels), I zipped right over to Kohls were I bought myself a brand spanking new pair of sneakers!! Maybe tonight when I walk I'll hear "Luck be a lady tonight!" and I won't have any pain...

okay, so I had to keep that food diary for my trainer, and I have to tell you...I was shocked. I've always felt that my diet isn't too bad, but I'll tell you what, I was living a dream world. I had no idea I was eating so much!! I'm mortified!!! I'm going to continue to keep the diary for the rest of the week, and I have to keep it for a weekend, so we'll see what happens come Monday, but so far NOT so good...

The Diet Starts Tomorrow!

In an attempt to actually strive to make my New Years Resolutions, I did two pretty great things this week (I know! It's only Tuesday!!)
1. I paid off my Old Navy credit card (woo woo!!) It wasn't too high, so it was pretty easy to do
2. I hired a personal trainer.

That's right! I've got myself eight half hour sessions with Pam. I went in and met with her yesterday to figure out if I could afford to actually do this (turns out that with my employee discount, I can!) and I told her that I truly do want to lose this weight I've allowed myself to lazily gain, but I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. I told her that I'm a wimp and although I know how to do things, I stop when I get tired/sore/need a drink of water/because I just don't want to do it anymore. I told her that I need someone who will kick my ass. She said, "I would like to be that person." haha, gotta love Pam!!

She told me that I had to write out my goals, time my 2 mile walk, and keep a food diary for two days during the week and one during the weekend. Well, I've thought up some stuff for my goals already, like...
1. I want to make exercise/fitness more important to me than dinner with friends. Too often I will make plans to walk or go to the gym, and then someone suggests coffee/drinks/dinner/shopping and I ditch the exercise to hang out.
2. I want to lose 20 pounds before I start school in September. I think that this is pretty reasonable. It'd be about 3-4 pounds a week...do-able...
3. To continue a lifestyle filled with exercise long after September hits.
4. ???

The food diary is going okay...although I realized that today was not the best day to start it...I'm taking my friend Gina out for her birthday tonight, and we're going to Rojo for dollar taco's and two dollar Corona's, plus Salsa and Guac!! AH!! Sorry Pam...but I thought, it's okay, I'll just eat REALLY healthy all day today! So this is what my food diary looks like so far...

1. Lite Yogurt (80 cal)
2. Coffee w/lots of creamer (vanilla caramel, yum!) and lots of sugar (I don't count coffee. Or anything I put in it)
3. Gardetto's (240 cal!)
4. 5 chicken tacos (mini's!) (47.5 ea. 237.5 total cal.)
5. Sante Fe Rice and Beans Lean Cuisine (300 cal)
6. 100 Calorie Veggie Crisps (which I'm currently eating as I write this)

And that doesn't include what will make it's way on later...
7. 3-5 Corona Light's (105 cal/bottle)
8. 3 Chicken Taco's (probably at least 100 cal each!)
9. Chips and Salsa
10. Chips and Guacamole

So I'm already at 957.5 calories for the day and I haven't even counted what I'm going to eat tonight, or the two pieces of gum I had (do they count if you don't swallow them? lol)...but I am walking tonight after work, so that will burn off some what I had today...I just don't know how much. I can't believe how quickly this all adds up...

Okay, wish me luck...and keep me accountable! Let's go for walks! Let's eat salads together! Let's be social while being active!!

Suburban Life

After being home for (almost!) a full week, I've realized that I need to appreciate and love what I have right here. There is so much that makes the city so special, and there are so many reasons to love the city, but what about the suburbs? So here are the reasons that I love living in Farmington Hills...

1. I love having a yard. Knowing that I can walk out my front or back door and step into the cool grass...mmm...what a great feeling...
2. I love that I can jump in my car, roll the windows down, turn the radio up, and jam out while driving 80 on the freeway
3. I love how my hair whips around my face while I'm jamming out
4. I love that I can walk downtown on Friday nights to watch the free concerts at Riley Park
5. I love that I don't get freaked out if some stranger talks to me.
6. I love that everywhere I want to go is so easily accessible. There are no trains to switch, no taxis to fight for. I just drive 15 minutes and I'm where I want to be.
7. I love that FH was ranked Safest City in 2005
8. I love when everyone in my neighborhood congregates on my neighbor's driveway and the children all play on the huge swingset in the backyard or run around and play tag in the side yard. And all of the adults (AKA anyone who doesn't play tag or get on a swing) gather on the driveway and sit in their lawnchairs and just relax.
9. I love that I own a car and I don't have to pay for parking
10. I love the friendliness of people, when I drive or walk through any neighborhood, I can wave to people and they wave back.

Being away for so long really made me realize a few things...I'll try to keep it on the shorter side of things for you...

1. I love the city. I love the energy and the excitement and how there is always something to do or somewhere you can go. I would really regret it if I never took the opportunity to live in the city. And when I saw "the city" I don't necessarily mean THE city, lol, as in NYC. I just mean any city/downtown area. For example, I would love love LOVE to live in downtown Plymouth, and if I were able to get a teaching job in the area next year, I would want to live there...

2. I'm ready to move on to a job that I enjoy going to. I'm sorry, but answering phones and sending faxes all day is just not my idea of an enjoyable job. Coming back has shown me that I can't wait to move on. I love the people that I work with, but it's just not my cup of tea. I just need to push through these last three months (well, two and a half!) and then I will be moved on to bigger and better. I know that I should just be happy to have a job, especially when I already know so many people who don't have one - and not by choice!

3. I don't want to go another day without Luke. I really don't know what I did all these years without him, but I just want to spend the rest of my days with him, and I can't wait for that to happen. We keep saying that we don't want marriage to be an answer to my having to move back in with my parents, and that's true. We don't. We've already discussed things so I know that we're probably going to wait another year or so, which is okay. There are things that both of us want to accomplish before marriage, but truly...when I was going to the museums and Central Park, and walking around the city, I just kept thinking, "I wish that Luke were here with me." Don't get me wrong, I had a fabulous time with Becky and wouldn't trade my time with her for anything, but I still missed him. And then to get to see him for a night and a day (Sat night & Sunday)...it was just a terrible tease...I didn't want to leave! I wish that we had our crap together so we could move forward in life with each other...it will happen when it's meant to, God's timing isn't the same as ours, as we all know...I just really miss him already...

4. Did you notice how many times I said, "just?!?" Yeesh! I need a new word...